Ex- English captain Lewis Moody has announced he has been diagnosed with motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet deal with the full ramifications of the muscle-wasting condition that claimed the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was involved in the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and won several English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast 14 days after finding out he has the illness.
"There's an element of looking the future in the face and being reluctant to fully comprehend that at the present time," he commented.
"It's not that I don't understand where it's progressing. We grasp that. But there is certainly a reluctance to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, conversing together with his wife Annie, says rather he feels "calm" as he focuses on his current wellbeing, his family and planning ahead for when the illness progresses.
"Possibly that's surprise or perhaps I process things in another way, and after I have the details, it's simpler," he added.
First Indications
Moody found out he had MND after observing some lack of strength in his shoulder while training in the gym.
After physiotherapy didn't help the issue, a series of scans revealed nerve cells in his central nervous system had been compromised by MND.
"You're given this condition identification of MND and we're appropriately extremely moved about it, but it's rather peculiar because I feel like I'm perfectly healthy," he continued.
"I don't experience unwell. I don't experience unwell
"My symptoms are very minor. I have a small amount of muscle wasting in the fingers and the shoulder region.
"I'm still able to accomplishing anything and everything. And optimistically that will persist for as long as is feasible."
Disease Development
MND can progress quickly.
As per the organization MND Association, the disease kills a third of people within a 365 days and over half within two years of diagnosis, as eating and respiration become harder.
Therapy can only retard deterioration.
"It's never me that I am upset for," commented an moved Moody.
"There's grief around having to break the news to my mum - as an sole offspring - and the implications that has for her."
Family Impact
Speaking from the household with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was overcome with emotion when he mentioned breaking the news to his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the devastating news, commenting: "It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two wonderful boys and that was quite devastating," Moody remarked.
"We were seated on the couch in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both wrapped up in each other, then the dog leapt across and started licking the moisture off our faces, which was somewhat silly."
Moody stated the focus was being in the present.
"We have no treatment and that is why you have to be so militantly concentrated on just embracing and enjoying everything now," he said.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been very blessed that the sole determination I made when I concluded playing was to allocate as much duration with the kids as attainable. We don't get those periods back."
Athlete Association
Professional athletes are unevenly affected by MND, with studies indicating the prevalence of the condition is up to 600% higher than in the broader public.
It is thought that by limiting the O2 available and causing injury to neural pathways, frequent, intense physical activity can trigger the disease in those already vulnerable.
Rugby Career
Moody, who earned 71 England selections and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was called 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in honour of his brave, relentless method to the game.
He participated through a fracture of his leg for a period with Leicester and once caused a training-ground confrontation with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he left a practice gear and began throwing himself into tackles.
After entering as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the rear of the throw-in in the crucial moment of play, establishing a base for playmaker Matt Dawson to attack and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the game-deciding drop kick.
Backing Community
Moody has already informed Johnson, who skippered England to that championship, and a handful of other ex- players about his medical situation, but the remaining individuals will be learning his news with the broader public.
"There will be a time when we'll need to depend on their assistance but, at the present, just having that kind of care and acceptance that people are present is what's important," he said.
"This game is such a great family.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even should it finished now, I've valued all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"When you have the opportunity to label your love your career, it's one of the greatest blessings.
"Achieving this for so long a duration with the squads that I did it with was a delight. And I understand they will want to assist in whatever way they can and I look forward to having those talks."
