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When the story surfaced that a prominent couple had been killed and their son, Nick Reiner, was a person of interest, it thrust substance use disorder back into the public spotlight. However, families grappling with a loved one’s addiction fear the discussion will focus on an extremely uncommon act of homicide rather than the more widespread risks of the disease.

A Familiar Pain

Ron Grover and his wife, Darlene, have been watching the news. They were merely familiar with the Reiners professionally, yet they identify deeply: their own son also developed a dependency at 15 to painkillers and later illicit drugs, similar to Nick Reiner, and spent years cycling through rehab and the legal system. After a long and painful struggle, their son got sober in July 2010.

“It’s just heartbreaking,” states Grover. “It tears you up, because that’s a family destroyed, just like so many other families we know whose loved ones didn’t survive the illness of addiction.”

The Scope of the Crisis

More than a significant majority of Americans report their lives have been impacted by addiction—whether through personal struggle, a family member’s dependency, homelessness due to addiction, or an drug-related emergency leading to medical care or loss, according to 2023 data.

Approximately 16.8% of Americans, or 48.4 million people, were living with a drug or alcohol addiction in 2024.

“This can happen to anybody, no matter how wealthy you are, no matter how poor you are, no matter how powerful you are,” emphasized Grover.

The Weight of Judgment

The Reiner story struck a chord with Greg, who leads a parent organization. “We talk a lot about how it’s a family disease,” Greg said. “It has a profound effect on others’ lives.”

However, he is concerned that the murders will make people “very wary of anybody who’s admitted to having an addiction, and think that they could become dangerous at any point in time. And that’s not true,” Greg added.

These “are really important conversations to have, since addiction is so widespread in the United States and the rates have consistently risen,” stated an associate professor who studies addiction and the legal system. She pointed to the significant social prejudice surrounding addiction and mental health in the U.S., including the “perception of someone being really a threat and the potential for harming others.”

She also cautioned against making assumptions about the alleged role of the son or his state at the time, noting it is not known whether drugs or psychological distress were involved recently.

“I’m afraid that people are going to take their stigmatization of addiction and this condition, and fill in the gaps to try to make sense of what happened,” she said. “Because of his history, the first thing that everyone is talking about is his struggle.”

Separating Myth from Fact

While addiction can lead to unpredictable behavior, and some substances may lead to agitation, a violent crime like a murder of two people is highly unusual.

“The vast majority of people with addiction or substance use disorder do not ever show anything remotely close to aggression. It’s a real rarity,” the expert explained. “The actual reality is a person is significantly more likely to harm themselves than anyone else.”

A Parent’s Fear

Both Greg and Grover have lived with fear—not directed at their sons, but for them.

“I’m afraid he’s going to die at some point,” Greg said. “If he returns to using, it’s eventually going to kill him. That’s my biggest fear. And my other fear is just being estranged from him.” He described the painful decisions parents face, such as setting boundaries and sometimes making the “horribly painful” choice that an adult child cannot reside in the family home.

“Our fear then was, every single night you went to sleep, that you could get that call or that visit from authorities telling you that he was gone forever,” said Grover. Those fears are present “every single day, 365 days a year, for a parent.”

He recounted the terrifying calls: from the ER saying a son was unconscious; from jail, where a parent might justify behavior by thinking, “ ‘Well, at least he committed theft to support his habit; at least he wasn’t breaking into the neighbors’ houses.’”

Isolation and Judgment

Parents often battle loneliness—wondering if the addiction was caused by some parental failure; feeling responsible for a child’s actions; and dreading judgment from others directed at both parent and child.

It is extremely challenging to understand a family’s ordeal without experiencing it personally, Greg noted. “With addiction, it can change on the spot. You could be content one day and miserable the next... It’s not uncommon for that to happen.”

The Path Forward

Data indicates about 75% of people with addiction are able to become sober.

“Just as you can get over any other type of illness, you can get over this disease, too. You can heal and be successful,” said Grover. “If you work at it and you stumble, you get up and work at it some more.”

Today, his son is a married with children, holds a university education, and works as a union electrician. Grover reflected on his struggle to “fix” his son, realizing it wasn’t possible.

“I can drag him into recovery if I want to, but if he doesn’t reach for my hand for help, it’s not going to work,” he said.

Yet, they always reiterated they loved him and had faith in him.

“I tell any parent or anybody else that’s dealing with someone struggling with drugs: make sure your hand is always, always outstretched, because you never know when they’ll take it and take it.”